The world’s most unusual persons’ names
Back in January 2007 I mentioned that Sabahans are the world’s most inventive name-makers. I am dead wrong.
For celebrities, the strangest must be Akon, the American R&B singer, rapper, songwriter, and record producer, whose real name is Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Locku Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam.
I think the most number of middle names is 24, Anna Bertha Cecilia Diana Emily Fanny Gertrude Hypatia Inez Jane Kate Louise Maud Nora Ophelia Prudence Quince Rebecca Sarah Teresa Ulysis Venus Winifred Xenophon Yetty Zeno Pepper. Did you realise that her names follow the alphabet order? She was a British woman who lived in the earlier part of the 20th century. Her nickname is none other than “Alphabet.”
Then there is Zachary Zzzzzzzzzra (born Bill Holland) who legally changed his name as a marketing ploy so that “people could find him in the back of the phone book”.
Then there’s Praise-God Barebone of England, who was said to have the full name of Unless-Jesus-Christ-Had-Died-For-Thee-Thou-Hadst-Been-Damned Barebone (1598 – 1679).
Wolfe+585, Senior (born 1904), of the USA, whose full name is, wait for it: Adolph Blaine Charles David Earl Frederick Gerald Hubert Irvin John Kenneth Lloyd Martin Nero Oliver Paul Quincy Randolph Sherman Thomas Uncas Victor William Xerxes Yancy Zeus Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorffvoralternwarengewissenhaftschaferswessenschafewarenwohlgepflegeunds
orgfaltigkeitbeschutzenvonangreifendurchihrraubgierigfeindewelchevoralternzwolftausendjahresvorandieerschei
nenwanderersteerdemenschderraumschiffgebrauchlichtalsseinursprungvonkraftgestartseinlangefahrthinzwische
nsternartigraumaufdersuchenachdiesternwelchegehabtbewohnbarplanetenkreisedrehensichundwohinderneurass
evonverstandigmenschlichkeitkonntefortplanzenundsicherfreuenanlebenslanglichfreudeundruhemitnichteinfurcht
vorangreifenvonandererintelligentgeschopfs vonhinzwischensternartigraum, Senior.
Good grief, imagine having to say that over the phone. Definitely the longest personal name ever.
There are many other really strange people’s names, but IMHO, the strangest must be the case where the parents of a Swedish boy born in 1991 wanted to name him the utterly unpronouncable, 43-character “Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116″. It’s supposed to be pronounced as “Albin” but I fail to see the connection, can you?)
Poor boy – can you imagine how much he will dread the question “how do you pronounce your name?” at primary school later?
As a matter of fact, his ultra-progressive parents went beyond that – they had planned never to legally name him at all, in protest to the naming law of Sweden which reads:
“First names shall not be approved if they can cause offense or can be supposed to cause discomfort for the one using it, or names which for some obvious reason are not suitable as a first name.”
They managed to do so until the boy was 5, but then they were fined by a district court for the offence.
In response, they submitted the strange name, justifying it as “a pregnant, expressionistic development that we see as an artistic creation.” The parents suggested the name be understood via pataphysics, which is a philosophy dedicated to studying what lies beyond the realm of metaphysics (philosophy concerned with explaining the ultimate nature of reality, being, and the world). Oo-kay… Not surprisingly, the court rejected the name.
Undeterred, the parents went for a simpler name, the rather too simple, “A”, also pronounced “Albin”. Alas, again they were thwarted by the court because one letter names are not allowed either.
sources
Wolfe+585, Senior
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116
BBC
Popularity: 12% [?]
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People still asked me lots of question when I tell them my full name is Kay Stanford Jr Kastum @ Martin Thomas
Personally, I think it’s better to stick with common, simple and short names. How to know they’re so? I’d call it the telephone test. If you dread being asked your name over the telephone everytime you make bookings, then your name is too difficult. If you had to spell your name to the person on the line, something’s wrong. If you’ve had one too many wrong spellings on your certificates and letters, susah lah. I’d rather have boring old common names than having to deal with the hassle of producing my myKad everytime someone asks my name.
When I was in the UK, all the mat sallehs had very common and simple first and middle names. Heck, even members of the British royalty have very simple first and middle names. I think we Asians are trying too hard to come up with “nice” names for our kids.
So my recommendation is to name your kids John, James, Robert, Andrew, George, Leo etc. The less syllables the better.