UNCONVENTIONAL WORLD RECORDS

IMHO, the following are the greatest ever planking photos. From various sources.

New Zealand’s Top Planker

On 29th May 2011, Max Key, the son of New Zealand’s Prime Minister John Key, planked on a lounge suite with his father standing behind. It made the front page of the New Zealand Herald two days later, and the PM’s office didn’t want to comment at first, but later confirmed that it’s genuine.

Army Unintentional Plank

Of course there are many variants of photos of the military falling flat on their faces while trying to stand still for ages.

Jet Engine Plank

Hopefully done by airline staff – but his boss might not be too pleased. And whatever it is, do not switch on the engine!

More:

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…and it’s not from 1986. Taken when he was manager of the Argentine national football team during World Cup 2010.

I think it’s safe to say football was not on his mind at that point in time.

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Probably the most famous April Fools’ Day hoax of all time is the Spaghetti Tree Hoax.

On 1st April 1957, BBC’s current affairs television programme Panorama showed what was apparently a family in southern Switzerland harvesting spaghetti from a tree. It was reported that the bounty was caused by the eradication of the spaghetti weevil. As a result, many people to contacted the station to find out how to plant their own “spaghetti trees”.

The hoax worked because at that time the Italian delicacy was not yet popular in the United Kingdom, hence not everybody knew that spaghetti is made from wheat flour and water, and definitely does not grow on trees.

In addition, it was narrated by respected broadcaster Richard Dimbleby, hence increasing its credibility.

The report lasted around 3 minutes:

The BBC let its viewers know the truth on the same day.

Many years later CNN called this “the biggest hoax that any reputable news establishment ever pulled.”

Source
Museum of Hoaxes

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I think the ultimate rickroll would be one where you’re not even aware rickrolling is going on.

And I think that happened some time in 2006 / 2007 during Ian Benardo’s audition in So You Think You Can Dance? Never mind the that apparently the first “official” rickroll happened in May 2007 on 4chan’s video game board.

If Benardo were like any other ordinary contestant, probably nobody would’ve noticed, but he’s probably the cockiest reality talent show contestant ever, with his “outspoken claims to superstardom, his argumentative style, camp retorts and inventive use of language.” During his audition, his dance entry was criticized by the judging panel. During the ensuing altercation, judge Nigel Lythgoe told him “you’re wasting our time”.

The following are fake, yet I think still deserves to be in the list of the greatest rickrolls ever:

How about Hitler being rickrolled? This is probably the greatest combination of 2 popular internet memes – rickrolling and “Hitler Knows”:

And how about Senator John McCain being “Barack Rolled” at the Republican National Convention? Unfortunately it never happened; the “Barack Roll” image was displayed on the giant blue sky background that was behind John McCain during parts of his speech; the video was pieced together from footage of the event.

Then there’s the rickroll which rode on the Wikileaks bandwagon, called the single most damning wikileaks cable:

Saturday, 12 December 1998, 16:13
S E C R E T SECTION 01 OF 02 LONDON 000368
NOFORN
SIPDIS
DOE FOR GPERSON, CHAYLOCK
EO 12958 DECL: 12/12/2018
TAGS EPET, ENRG, PGOV, RS”>RS, NI
SUBJECT: ENGLAND: RELIABILITY AND LONGEVITY OF UK-US RELATIONSHIP CONFIRMED
REF: A. LONDON 365 B. LONDON 366
Classified By: Consul General Robbie Honerkamp for reasons 1.4 (B) and (D )

1. (S/NF) Summary: We’re no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I.
A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of. You wouldn’t get this from any other guy.
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling. Gotta make you understand.

2. (C/NF) Chorus: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

3. (S/NF) We’ve known each other for so long Your heart’s been aching but You’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it
And if you ask me how I’m feeling Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see

4. (C/NF) Chorus: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

5. (C/NF) Chorus: Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

6. (C/NF) Background Singers: (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) (Ooh) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up)

7. (S/NF) We’ve know each other for so long Your heart’s been aching but You’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on We know the game and we’re gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand

8. (C/NF) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

9. (C/NF) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.

10. (C/NF) Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
Never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye, never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. ASTLEY

Perhaps the only thing that can top these is Mr Astley’s song suddenly filling the air while one is busy fiddling with POS systems in a busy supermarket.

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This could well be the grossest yet funniest police report of all time.

On 22nd October 2010, Melissa Lee Williams, 41 of West Virginia, USA apparently went over to her ex-husband’s residence while in a state of alcohol drunkenness.

Yup, she looks to be in severe need of a makeover, starting with that weight loss supplement

When she arrived there, she found him and another man sitting in the living room.

She then asked both of them to er… pleasure her using the “first portion of their alimentary canal that receives food and saliva,” while at the same time starting to take her clothes off.

Her ex-husband refused, but the other man agreed. Unfortunately, as he approached her, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams,” following which he “declined to proceed any further.” That we can understand perfectly well I should think.

Then we enter a real-life Twilight Zone. Ms Williams then was said to have brandished a knife at her ex-husband before uttering an unforgettable line, which can be seen in an excerpt of the police report as recorded at Jackson Country Sheriff’s Department.

She’s now facing assault and weapons charges.

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If your hospital has these names, it’d be interesting to see the look on the agent’s face if s/he asks you about your hospital while preparing a medical insurance quote…

I have 2 contenders for the award:

Kandang Kerbau Hospital, Singapore. “Kandang kerbau” is a Malay word meaning “buffalo pen”. That immediately conjures images of a filthy and smelly place, totally at odds with what one would expect of hospitals.

The reason why this name was chosen was explained thus:

In colonial times, local people often used landmarks as place names. Due to a buffalo pen located there at that time, the district around the cross-roads formed by Serangoon Road, Selegie Road, Bukit Timah Road and Rochor Road was known as Kandang Kerbau district. The hospital located within this area was variously the (Singapore) General Hospital (1858; leaves for Sepoy Lines in 1882), the Pauper Hospital for Women and Children (c.1905) and eventually the Kandang Kerbau Hospital / KK. The name KK become synonymous with the hospital and was retained when the hospital was renamed KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital after its move to its present location at Kampong Java Road in 1997.

So in the olden days the name was displayed on a huge banner like this:

And even though now they shortened the name to “KK”, the full phrase is still used, like in the following screenshot from a related website:

The other hospital is called Fauquier Hospital, located in Virginia, USA:

If you can’t see how this could be funny, watch the following promotional video of the hospital, observe carefully how they pronounce the hospital’s name at 0:29:

F**k your health? Even they admit the name’s a bit odd.

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This has got to be the greatest question ever asked on Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?

Unfortunately, apparently it’s only a sketch on SNL.

Still, even if it was a real question, “greatest ever” here could not possibly mean “most difficult”. For example, the following question can be asked: what is the longest name of a model of a cooking utensil? The answer of course is “all clad copper core set of cookware,” but then how many people would know that, at least worldwide?

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Now here’s a good reason to drink beer until you fall asleep

Location unknown – anybody know where this is?

Not that it’s advisable to drink too much, not just due to well-publicised health hazards of over-drinking, but I’ve heard whispered conversations among heavy drinkers that alcohol makes you visit the loo so much that in time you might need to rely on incontinence products just to stay 5 minutes at the bar.

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Now this is a company team list with a difference.

Berbay Corporation was established in 1995 and specialises in marketing and public relations, working with legal, financial, real estate, professional service and B2B firms.

In their team list, apart from the 6-member “Account Team” they also have 3 CEOs. Wait, you ask, why do they have THREE CEOs? It only makes sense if you discover that the CEOs are 3 dogs named Hunter, Hamlet and Halo, and that CEO here stands for Canine Efficiency Officer.

Screenshot:

I don’t think this will be found in most other company websites.

If it’s any clue, all of them are women: I suppose they’re game for over the counter prenatal vitamins?

I am not sure if putting man’s best friends on an official publication is a good idea – what do you think?

Source

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Wearing the following customes at Halloween parties will instantly transform you into a chick magnet. NOT!

Free mammogram? Any takers?

Squeeze the pump, fake diarrhea comes out at the “exposed bum.” Very tasteful…

Just don’t show that to Gary Glitter!

Keep childbirth out of Halloween parties!

I think men sporting fake saggy breasts are horrific sights:

And no references to bestiality!

As for this truly stunning creation, it will not even pass customs:

Source
wpgc.com

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UPDATE 25th March 2011

It was just a matter of time: Hitler gets angry because Datuk T didn’t use a HD CCTV for the “Anwar Sex Tape”!

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UPDATE 13th April 2010

Today the BBC called this the internet’s biggest parody.

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In the excellent 2004 film Der Untergang, Adolf Hitler has a nervous breakdown, launching a scathing verbal attack to his generals when he realizes that he has lost the war.

That scene in the movie, which is about the last 12 days in The Fuhrer’s life has been endlessly parodied. In other words, it has become an internet meme.

The original is this:

But it has been hilariously twisted beyond recognition. The latest: Hitler lets loose after Manchester United lost to Liverpool 0-2 in the EPL:

Other highlights include a take on the Malaysian Anti Corruption Commission (MACC):

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According to wikipedia, one of KFC’s actual advertisements is one promoting its “wicked crunch box meal”. It features a fictional black metal band called “Hellvetica” performing live, which ends with the lead singer swallowing fire. The commercial then shows the lead singer at presumably his dressing room eating a “wicked crunch box meal” and saying “Oh man that is hot”.

Someone commented that that’s a cool name for a band, definitely better than if the band were named “ceramic tile“!

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UPDATE 22nd January 2010

Caroline Cartwright, 48 (right, with husband Steve) has been handed a suspended prison sentence.

Sentencing, Judge Beatrice Bolton said:

I’ve heard a very short extract of the noise you make and can well see that your neighbours would be upset and distressed by this. In addition it’s quite clear from the small extract I heard that you made no attempt to silence yourself.

She further said that if she continued with her old habit, she’d be really sent to prison.

Source

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ORIGINAL POST: 28th April 2009

So noisy that she was imprisoned because of it!

Caroline Cartwright, 48 of Wearside, England screamed, moaned and groaned loudly everytime she had sex with her factory worker husband Steve, 46 at her home.

Not only that, their act was so rigorous that the bed was banging loudly against the wall, and slapping noises could be heard.

Happening in the early hours, it was all too much for the neighbours to bear.

Earlier in April she was given an Anti-Social Behaviour Order (ASBO), banning her from being “noisy during sex,” valid for 4 years. An Asbo is a civil order given in the UK and the Republic of Ireland to someone who’ve “engaged in anti-social behaviour.”

However, within 10 days, she reportedly breached it 3 times.

A partially deaf neighbour, Margery Ball, said that she has not had a good night’s sleep for 2 years because of the noise.

Another Rachel O’Connor, said:

I heard sounds of a sexual nature, they were really loud, and there was a lot of moaning and groaning and screaming as if in pain. It wasn’t just the woman, it came from both parties.

So much so that the noise was like domestic violence.

She added that when she first moved in in November 2007, the noise started at midnight and lasted until 3am. Later, it started at about 6.30am and lasted until 9am.

It is not known whether Caroline was one to buy HGH to keep her performance up, despite her age.

After many complaints, the local council’s environmental health department installed audio recording equipment in the flat next door to the Cartwright’s house. They made 23 recordings, all played in court, in a soundproofed room to magistrates.

Despite having being arrested twice, Caroline was defiant, and said:

I’m not going to stop. I’ve been making the same noises since the Asbo was imposed, and this morning, we were making noises for three hours. I can’t stop making noise during sex, it’s unnatural to not make any noises, and I don’t think that I’m particularly loud.

Wow, what a woman!

Now one positive note out of this is that Caroline and Steve has been married 25 years, yet they managed to keep the passion going all this while!!!

Source
The BBC, 27 April 2009
The Sun, 18 Apr 2009

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This is without question the greatest of them all. Someone commented that even President Obama would benefit from this!

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This is a most heartbreaking story.

V. Letchumy, 52 of Kota Tinggi, Johor must be Malaysia’s, or even the world’s most unfortunate person in living memory.

Five years ago (another report said three) her husband died suddenly of a heart attack. They had 4 children together. In one stroke, she became a single mother.

Then on 25th January 2009, all her children, aged 17, 16, 14 and 10 died when they drowned at sea after being swept away by a big wave.

She and the children were on their way to visit a relative when the kids asked for permission to go for a short swim at a nearby beach. She relented because after all, it was the school holidays and that an older person, nephew S. Veerasamy, 22 swam them in the 11am (other reports said 1pm) incident while she waited on the beach.

Veerasamy survived. At the hospital, he was reported to have said:

I feel sad because there were a few other people on the beach, yet not even one came to our aid. If they did, this tragedy could’ve been averted.

As to how the tragedy happened, he was reported to have said:

Upon reaching the beach, all of us went into the water. Not long after that, I came out because my leg felt painful, hence leaving them alone. Suddenly I heard screams for help and then saw them struggling. I immediately jumped in the water to rescue them. I managed to reach Gopi and Ganeswaran’s hands before my grip was broken by a huge wave. After I myself almost drowned and I couldn’t see them anymore, I limped back to the beach.

Letchumy’s younger brother, taxi driver Rajendran, 47 summed it up: “Everyone is in shock. It all happened so suddenly.”

Let’s assist in any way we can.

Source
The Star, 28 Jan 2009
Utusan Malaysia, 27 Jan 2009

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In January 2007 I mentioned that Sabahans are the world’s most inventive name-makers, based on their children’s names listed in school rolls.

Earlier this year I looked at the new list, and be rest assured, the title is still firmly in our grasp.

Here I list the six that I found most interesting and unique.

First off, possibly no other person in the world has this name, I can’t find it even after googling:

Neither this one:

Neither this one: the parents must be huge Ricky Martin fans:

Neither this one:

No prizes for guessing who the parents are fans of, with a name like this:

And this one probably could only exist in Sabah:

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UPDATE 2nd December 2009

A year after his shoe-throwing escapade against President Bush, now it’s the turn of the world’s most famous shoe thrower, Muntadar al-Zaidi to have a shoe thrown at him!

He was speaking at a press conference in Paris on 1st December 2009 when it happened. The attacker was reportedly a pro-US Iraqi journalist.

Starts 0:34:

Not to be outdone by President Bush, Zaidi had his own unforgettable quote after the attack: “He stole my technique!”

After his attack on Bush, Zaidi was jailed 9 months, and claimed he was tortured in prison.

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UPDATE 10th January 2009

Some more received via email forwards:

… No, those aren’t Merrell shoes …

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Within hours of that incident, at least 2 online games has been created and many animations and video mashups done.

Game 1 – apparently created by some Frenchmen: you play Bush who gets shoes of various shapes and sizes thrown at you, avoid them as long as possible by ducking to the left and right. It gets harder as time goes by since the shoes fly faster and faster!

Game 2 – you play a secret service agent with 2 guns. You need to shoot the shoes down before they even reach the president. Be careful, do not accidentally shoot Mr Bush!

Then there are the various mashups and animations mushrooming all over the place, reminiscent of the time Zidane headbutted Materazzi during the 2006 World Cup Final.

Click here to see them

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Porn movies, by its very nature, do not place high emphasis on acting ability, other than perhaps when the real action starts.

This is especially telling during the introductory parts, where the actors and actresses get to know each other up close.

However, I think the following takes the cake: fresh from defeating a huge snake, the guy suddenly has the urge to show the woman another kind of snake!

… the title of this post contains a word which might as well be plastered on a huge digital signage …

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Update 8 August 2011

This is so bad it’s hilarious.

Entitled “Banci Tapi Rendong”, showcasing a bra-clad, otherwise topless guy miming to Titi DJ’s cover of Diana Nasution’s “Benci Tapi Rindu”. I collapsed in laughter when he started on the chorus, but I truly lost it when he picked up a parang at 1:46 and “threatened” to kill himself.

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11 October 2008

…/ the worst miming attempt ever.

Perhaps it’s for being shirtless. Perhaps it’s the broom. Perhaps it’s the shades.

Perhaps it’s for having the audacity for actually taking the time to record and then upload this to youtube.

What does he expect? Heaps of praises? A call from another washed-out Western rock band looking for a frontman?

Only he knows.

Click here to see the video

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Mondegren director Buffalax is a comic genius. I haven’t watched a Hindi music video in its entirety for a very long time, until the day I saw this video. Usually I’d just skip, even fast forward the singing part. This has to be seen to be believed, guaranteed to make one laugh uncontrollably.

Buffalax added subtitles of the “written English approximation of the video’s original language sound,” then uploaded it on 18th August 2007. Since then the video has been viewed more than 8 million times and commented more than 25,000 times.

The song’s name is Kalluri Vaanil, a love song, sung by Prabhu Deva Sundaram in the Indian Tamil movie Pennin Manathai Thottu released in 2000.

As a result of Buffalax’s work, I think interest in the movie from outside India skyrocketed, stunning those involved in the making of the movie.

The Buffalaxed video:

What the lyrics actually mean in English:

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Someone, or rather perhaps a group of people must have painstakingly found and allocated, for each line of the lyrics to Metallica’s magnum opus “Enter Sandman”, hilariously appropriate images of cats acting out each line.

My favourite lines must be the guitar solo part where the cat goes:

Classic!

Full version:

Click here to see the rest of this post

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It was reported in March 2007 that an unnamed 30-year old labourer from Auckland, New Zealand was trying to refuel his car at a Mobil gas station when he slowly slumped on to the boot, then fell to the ground.

Worse, there was a 2 year old child inside the car!

Alert staff took care of the toddler, then called the cops, where his blood alcohol level was found to be 4 times over the limit, and that this was his 3rd drunk driving charge.

Double embarrassment for him: the picture is now all over the world:

…we can only hope that the child was seated in a Britax, goodness knows what could’ve happened…

And I think this guy will definitely not be someone you’d ask to do auto repair estimates or even to find a repair shop. Timing belt replacement? Better get someone else more responsible.

Source

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In this day and age, bloggers will blog about anything and everything, and the blog post won’t be complete without pictures, taken with photography equipment that would be the envy of any photojournalist.

However, in all my years of bloghopping I did not expect to see this one blog post, complete with damning, stark photographic evidence.

I think it’s the number one sign that one’s a true-blue blogger.

What do you think, should this be THE blog post of the year 2008?

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Once in a blue moon I’d buy one of those cheapskate magic equipments imported from China. Usually the manual (usually made up of just a piece of paper) is written in English and Chinese, and the standard of English acceptable.

However, yesterday I picked up another magic equipment made up of a die and a box with a cover:

Unfortunately, the English-language part of the manual is so horrendously written I can’t make it out at all. If it were Engrish, at least you’d get the drift. But this one I surrender. If anyone can help me decipher it, I thank you very much in advance:

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Spotted this young man at the office a few months ago busy “working”, while displaying what must be the world’s worst working posture.

Everything’s totally against what’s normally considered good ergonomics. Imitate at your own risk!

View from the back:

Does not look too bad?

Well, consider this view from the side:

Click here to see the rest of the post

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An unnamed Italian couple in their early thirties were arrested by police early this month after they made love in the confessional box in a cathedral while morning Mass was being held!!!

The Roman Catholic cathedral is located in northern Cesena.

They were not jailed, only cautioned for performing obscenity in public and disturbing a religious function.

They have since repented and made peace with the local bishop, saying they had drunk too much. Last week the bishop celebrated a “Mass of reparation” in the same cathedral to make up for the sacrilege.

Source
Yahoo News

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Jodie Louisa Marsh was born 23rd December 1978 in Essex, England. She’s a topless model, having appeared in many publications. She’s also infamous for her high profile feuds with other celebrities.

At the 2007 FHM awards, turned up in her now infamous “belt outfit”, where she wore what looked like 3 belts, 2 thin ones arranged in an X-shape to cover her nipples and one thick one used as a skirt, which could not even cover the whole of her buttocks. In other words, she’s practically naked.

That outfit, which could very well redefine the phrase “dressed to kill” and noisy clamour of photojournalists have to be seen to be believed:

Click here to see the video

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A few months ago I received a trial copy of the Discovery Channel Magazine. Flipping through it, I nearly jumped off my seat when, opening up a page, I was confronted with a 2-page spread of this:

Have you seen a scarier image on a mainstream magazine? I am sure there are even worse pictures on specialty / underground magazines, but how about magazines of this type i.e. available at any newsstand?

Here’s a closeup of those haunting eyes staring at you:

This is definitely something that those who needs it has to wear their medical alert bracelets.

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When I first saw its picture, I thought it’s just another photoshopped hoax, but digging deeper, I was shocked to discover that it’s a real plant, usually called the Peter Pepper, scientific name capsicum annuum var. annuum ‘Peter’.

It’s native to Louisiana and Texas.

It’s been called many other names, including Chilli Willy and Penis Chilli; and has been judged “Most Pornographic Pepper” by Organic Gardening Magazine.

Not surprising, since it looks like so:

Apparently it has always been grown more as an ornamental thing, rather than to be eaten, although it’s perfectly edible.

Sources
pepperjoe.com
chilly-willy.com
backwoodshome.com

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The New Straits Times first reported on 6th April 2008 that a toothpaste sold in Kuala Terengganu has caused a furore to some extent, as “its brand name was considered to be rather suggestive by some people.”

The brand: Oral-Me.

In fact, popular blogger Kenny Sia reported this almost a year ago, back in May 2007.

2 days later, the same newspaper, reported that the product is produced by Pro Dental B Corporation Sdn Bhd, a Kulim, Kedah, based company, and that even its executive director Sunny Saw defended its name, saying he “saw nothing wrong with the name as it was connected to oral care. The name is just to show that it is an oral product.”

Still, enough people thought that the brand name carried a negative connotation that it made the news, online and offline, including marketing executives and English teachers, people that should know better than most.

Source

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Apparently happened on Bulgarian Idol auditions, broadcast on Bulgarian TV 26th February 2008, when Valentina Hassan, who does not speak a word of English, sung the classic Harry Nilsson / Mariah Carey hit “Without You”.

Even the dialogue is funny, as she said she was going to sing a song called “Ken Lee”, and to a question as to whether she meant “Without You”, she empathically said “No!” Then at the end, when asked what language she had just sung in, she didn’t miss a beat when answering: “English!”

Has to be seen to be believed, this is at least the video of the year 2008:

Click here to see the video

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Watch this guy checking out the apparently problematic mike. He put his ears next to it, as though expecting sound to come out of it – but I thought you have to listen to the loudspeakers instead? Or perhaps he detected some kind of insect trapped inside and making a buzzing noise?

Your guess is as good as mine, but I’d go as far as saying even an AP Royal Oak won’t help his case here.

Click here to see the video

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There’s so many things wrong: timing, pitch, melody, pronounciation: everything!

You can even see the incredulous faces of some young spectators in the background.

And it happened right in my backyard more than 20 years ago!!

Click here to see the video

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You would NOT want this guy to borrow your car, he’d not even make it out of the driveway!!!

Click here to see the video

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I don’t think it’s a good idea to invite these people to play Santa Claus at your local church.

Click here to see the video

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This November 2006 video has got to be one of the greatest I have ever taken. Chris looks like s/he cannot wait for the song to end because of the pesky short, drunk old man who’s become his/her biggest fan. And who can forget that dancing partner’s totally original dance moves, complete with robot walk and silat shuffle!

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This rather effeminate male vagrant was photographed unintentionally posing with a Honda Accord. The last photo is especially exclusive – complete with apparent nose cleaning operation.

Click to see the last photograph

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For the auditions of X Factor 4, Totoshko travelled all the way from Japan to meet her idol, Simon Cowell in the Birmingham auditions of the show in August. It’s obvious that getting thru the audition was secondary in the 31-year old soft-spoken woman’s intentions.

In normal circumstances Cowell would’ve slaughtered her there and then, like he had done so many times to other people in the past, but this time a softer side of him was revealed.

She sang one of the worst ever versions of ‘My Way’ and caused Cowell to try very hard not to laugh.

She said: “I like you very much Simon, I came here just to meet you, you are very big in Tokyo.”

Cowell then gave her a hug and 2 kisses.

He didn’t let her go thru to the next round, but if he heard such singing from any other person, he would not tell them what he told her: “That was a very quiet audition but very sweet voice and you’re very cute, I may have to take you home”.

The episode was first shown on British television on 1st September 2007.

Click here to see the video

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In November 2006 I wrote about Chase Sampson, who to the first (and usually easiest) question

Homeowners buy surge protectors to protect their possessions from unexpected surges of what?
A: Electric current; B: Water flow; C: Air pressure; D: Buyer’s remorse

Answered B instead of A.

Now here are some more, the first being Paul Weir Galm who failed at the first question and therefore got nothing:

Which of these phrases is a common way of saying “I can’t take it anymore!”
A. That’s the last stick! B. That’s the last leaf! C. That’s the last straw! D. I’m moving to Canada!

He answered A instead of C.

But the absolute worst must be the following French version of the show. To the question

What is it that orbits around the Earth?”
A. the Moon B. the Sun C. Mars D. Venus

The answer should already be obvious, but he wasn’t sure, so engaged the audience. Amazingly, more people in the audience chose B than A. Swayed to the core, he went with them. So either the audience is also stupid or they wanted to get rid of him.

I saw another which purportedly showed a woman saying that an elephant is larger than a moon – but can’t vouch for its authenticity.

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Back in May, I wrote about the worst photos I have ever taken. They are truly horrendous, and mercifully, few and far between.

However, on the 29th of September 2007 I managed to take another photo which I think is good (or bad) enough to make it to the list.

The identity of the person shall remain a closely guarded secret

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Chris Crocker, 19 released “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” on YouTube on 11th September. There, he lambasted those who criticised Britney Spears’ performance at the recent MTV Video Music Awards. In the first 24 hours, the video was viewed 2 million times. A week later it had over 7 million views and currently the 6th most discussed YouTube videos of all time with over 100,000 comments.

He became famous worldwide literally overnight and got him interviews on the likes of CNN, Fox News, MSNBC and the Today show.

Unavoidably, it has become a prime target for satire, with reportedly over 750 video responses.

The following playlist contains some TV appearances and best parodies:

1. The original “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!”
2. Crocker featured on ABC: Jimmy Kimell’s show
3. Crocker featured on Fox News
4. Crocker responds to Fox News
5. Crocker interviewed on Jimmy Kimmell’s show
6. Seth Green’s version: one of the very best parodies
7. Perez Hilton’s version
8. Crocker featured on ROVE (Australia)
9. Optimus Prime version
10. Remix version: hilarious
11. Slow version: the original played in slow motion
12. Strange version
13. Chewbacca version: very funny
14. Robot version
15. Trance Remix
16. Another Remix
17. Old Man with Tampon version
18. Stephen Hawking version
19. With sad music playing in background (warning: ending could be NSFW)
20. Texas Chainsaw Massacre version
21. Prez Bush: “Leave General Petraeus Alone”
22. Greek version
23. Hannibal Lecter version
24. Watermelon version
25. “Leave OJ Alone”
26. “Leave Bill Belichick Alone”
27. Belichick version
28. Britney version
29. Asian version
30. Barbara Bush: “Leave George Alone”
31. Crocker Reedited version: hilarious
32. DARD version
33. Sock Puppet version

Click here to see the videos in a playlist

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What prank can be bigger than an attempt on the US president who’s at a place where reportedly USD160 million has been spent on security? Best of all, there’s a guy dressed as none other than Dubya’s arch nemesis Osama bin Laden in one of the very authentic-looking 3-car motorcade.

They got thru 2 checkpoints, and parked right outside the hotel where Prez Bush stayed in Sydney for the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) conference. Nobody noticed anything funny until the Osama clone emerged!

Absolutely amazing, considering reportedly half the city has been cordoned off in the tightest security ever seen in the city’s history.

Yes, they could’ve been shot by snipers stationed at rooftops, but still it was an amazing attempt by some Australians.

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Rambo: First Blood (1982): Bring in the chopper (helicopter)! -> Bawa kapak!

Goodnight, cutie pie. -> Selamat malam, kuih manis

Serial killer -> pembunuh bijirin (cereal killer)

Star Wars (?): We are approaching light speed (?) -> kami tengah menuju halaju ringan

A war movie: Duck! -> Itik!

Another war movie: Fire! -> Api!

Romancing the Stone -> Berasmara Dengan Batu

Saving Private Ryan -> Simpanan Peribadi Ryan

Hi Babe -> Hi Bayi

I mean business -> saya bermaksud perniagaan

On comedy sitcom How i Met Your Mother, a character says “Cheap Trick” (the name of the US band playing on the jukebox) is translated as “Helah Murahan”

…and did you hear the one about how Sly Stallone spoke Bahasa Malaysia in Judge Dredd: I am the law -> Ayam Telor

source

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The world’s hunkiest man could be walking around right here in Malaysia. So hunky that normally reserved women would fight over a complete stranger in full view of the general public.

On 2nd July 2007, The Star Malaysia reported that in Merega Beris in Kijal, Kemaman, Terengganu on Saturday, a man, who some said looked like a certain Bollywood actor, although exactly which one was not mentioned, casualy went into a food court alone to have his teh tarik.

That was the start of all the trouble. Two smitten young women at two separate stalls instantly tried to get his attention in order to lure him to have his teh tarik at their respective stalls. Then he spoke to one of the women. The other woman, aged 21, took this as a rejection to her advances and in her rage, went to the other woman, tore the T-shirt she was wearing and accused her of being a nymphomaniac and wearing revealing clothes.

The other woman, aged 22, proved to be more than a match, when she quickly took a pan containing scalding hot water with which she poured on the other young lady.

Totally unbecoming behaviour for supposedly demure young ladies.

Then an older lady got into the fray, in the form of the younger lady’s mother, aged 46. In defence of her daughter, she started throwing chairs at the other lady, causing damage to several tables.

Needless to say, they became the centre of attention of customers trying to enjoy their food.

And what happened to the hunk? The Star reported that “the shocked man fled the scene.”

The incident was confirmed by state Deputy CID Chief Supt Khairi Ahrasa yesterday, who went on to say that the scalded woman had been warded at the nearest hospital.

Source

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Late 1992

August 1993

Mid 1980s

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With the slogan “Keep your head. Remove theirs,” The Zombie Preparedness Initiative website describes itself as a “knowledge base provided by a community of citizens concerned about the impending zombie invasion and the iminant (sic) disaster that is sure to follow. We are not claiming to be experts on anything, we are merely doing what we can to gather knowledge and share the aquired information with the public. By doing this, we hope to help people prepare for the very real threat that we shall face when zombies show up and governments have not taken the time to prepare. We are working to do what we can to help people find others in their area that are interested in fighting against the zombies so that when the time comes there can be safe locations all around the world.”

It even has a DIY section on how to make weapons to battle it out against zombies. One weapon is called the Trash Kannon, with very detailed instructions on how to construct it. According to the site, the Trash Kannon is “a weapon designed to be powerful against undead and living foes to varying degrees whilst being easily created from materials scavenged from around the typical human city. Under perfect conditions, it can fire through a line of approximately 10-11 undead bodies, or 5-6 living bodies, due to differing activity (I do not advise attempting to find an accurate number prior to the actual dystopia). It can be used as a trap, by creating a simple firing mechanism keyed to activate under certain conditions, which will vary depending on the situation and location.”

Simply amazing.

www.zombieinitiative.org

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You’d think that Israelis are one of the world’s most paranoid people – but an article I came across some time ago totally shot that idea down.

Reuters reported on 19th February that Israeli police found that a car was blocking traffic in the fast lane of a major highway somewhere near Jerusalem, of all places. Reading about this, one would immediately suspect that terrorists were on to something – going to blow up that car or something similar.

Instead, they found a couple inside having sex! Apparently, the female driver and her male companion simply could not wait for a more private location. In fact, they could not even make the time to park at the roadside.

Amazing, considering the racket the other motorists caused with their honking and cursing. As would be expected, they caused a massive traffic jam and forced other roadusers to swerve to avoid them.

And for all that, they only got a ticket. No charge for public indecency or something like that. See, Israelis are probably the world’s most laidback people! I mean, if it happened anywhere else, somewhere in the laidback Western Hemisphere perhaps, probably nobody would bat an eyelid.

source

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How can the humble pillow be interesting?

When it’s the Horse Head Pillow. (more…)

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I received this a few days before Christmas 2006.

I believe he meant prosperous.

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